Lately, I have found myself at a very strange crossroads. One where I’m not sure where I’m going or even where I want to go. It’s a strange feeling. As a child all I wanted was to be an adult because then I knew I would have all the answers. If I could say something to my younger self now I would say I was more certain of who I was then than I am now. I would tell myself to enjoy the certainty of waking up and knowing that everything was OK, and if it wasn’t that my mum would make it so. I would tell myself that growing up in small town was perfect because it is the very thing that would enable me to deal with people when I grew up. I would not get so upset at being sent to boarding school because those bullies taught me the power of standing up for myself. I would have hated the prison like conditions at my high school a little less because now, very little can bring me to my knees. The nuns who ran my high school conditioned me well. I would enjoy those visits to the rural areas and watching my grandmother do all sorts of things I considered strange. I would have enjoyed the smoky food a little more. I would have bathed in the river more. I would have climbed up more trees and torn more dresses (yes mum I would). I would have done the dangerous slide down the mountainside one more time (and possibly got seriously hurt….again). I would have pranked my grandmother and possibly got both a hiding and a good laugh from it. I would have hugged my grandmother more. I would have hugged my grandmother tightly like I did the last time I saw her. I just didnt know it was the last time I would see her. Given, I’m not an emotionally demonstrative person, I dont know who was more surprised…. her or me. But her surprise made her laugh and that picture of her laughing in the fog, on a quiet road, so early in the morning is my last memory of her and it always brings tears to my eyes.
The Novice Mummy
Small town girl. Big city life. A fugitive from the law of averages. Huge Chelsea FC Fan. Lover of high heels. Hockey Player. Fitness Fanatic. Bookworm. Lawyer. A lover of words. Zimbabwean born and raised. South African resident. Kenyan by marriage. An African Woman. Life has had its ups and downs for me. I have laughed till I cried. I have cried till I could cry no more. I have buried loved ones. I have loved and lost and loved again. I have grown. I have stood still. I have made friends. I have made memories. At every turn, I have found a different version of myself. At every turn I have learnt something new. Along the way I started this blog as little reminder of a few of the moments that have made me who I am today.....a small collection of randomness because memories fade but words are forever.