“If you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention.”
― Tom Peters, Thriving on Chaos: Handbook for a Management Revolution

My countrymen never cease to amaze me. When I say my countrymen I mean the whole African continent. It is no secret that homosexuality is a very touchy topic in most African countries. In fact, in Zimbabwe, Malawi and a few other countries, its just illegal. You may not know this but in Zimbabwe and most of Africa, being openly gay is a life threatening state of being.

It is obvious that the powers that be do not approve of homosexuality and have made it their mission to root this “evil” out of society and protect the country’s moral fabric. The whole argument is exhausting but suffice it to say picture an overfed, sweaty politician on a soapbox saving the world from the great ‘moral’ evil. The image is inter-changeable with that of a priest brandishing a cross and ready to exorcise society. At this point I cant help but roll my eyes. The big question is how exactly do they do this?

Let me enlighten you. Zimbabwe’s first black prime minister was Canaan Banana…..yes that was his real name. No….. I’m not joking. That’s his name. Who knows how he got elected with a name like that!!! LOL but I digress. Point is, Canaan was gay. Can you imagine the uproar when this was discovered. I was a child then but I remember the constant chatter. Everyone was talking. He was promptly arrested and charged with sodomy. The man he allegedly abused came out of the woodwork and told of his years of abuse at the hands of the prime minister. Cue the superhero music as society came to the “victim’s” rescue. After the trial Canaan Banana was imprisoned. Of course, I’m sure now we were all safe from this “terrible homosexual.” Im still very unclear on exactly how this method works  because ummmm……what exactly is the plan? If you put him in jail his sexual preferences will change? If you publicly humiliate a person for a choice that has nothing to do with you, he will repent? Aside from the deeper questions, there are simpler ones like can you cure homosexuality? Apparently a prison cell can.

Malawi is of the same view because in recent years two men there were imprisoned for being lovers. Uganda has an anti-homosexuality bill (maybe an Act now…who knows) aimed at broadening the criminal nature of homosexuality. I have also recently read a fascinating article on a debate in Ghana titled “commentary on the dangers of homosexuality to our national development.” One of the statements made in that article is “If homosexuality is tolerated, very soon the human race will be extinct.” But trust me when I say I dont do this particular Reverend justice by quoting one line from his speech. Remember the soap box?…… here is the fiery closing to his call to battle…..

” We must not condemn homosexuals but condemn the act and sin of homosexuality. We must be kind to them and help them to overcome this degrading tendency. We must assure them they can overcome it. There is no human moral failure that cannot be overcome. There are many in our societies, who were once rapists, armed robbers and homosexuals who upon acknowledging those tendencies as sin and evil sought help and they are now free from its addiction. We use this opportunity to call on civil society, organs of governments, NGOs, political and religious bodies to rise up against any call or attempt to legitimise homosexuality.

May God purge our society of this canker so Ghana can develop in peace and moral uprightness.”

Wow, I cant help but marvel at the champions of society. They are just so clever. I mean if a part of society is gay, then all of society will stop having children and we will all go extinct. There is obviously no flaw in that argument at all. On the other hand we could just stick to the first plan and imprison them all because men dont have sex in prisons and they will return “cured” and society will be safe and morally upright once more. But if this is how it works, why dont we imprison liars or lying politicians so that they are cured or false prophets or adulterers because jails cure ‘moral’ crimes lately. I may not understand it but I’m sure its because I’m a little dim. There must be a masterplan in there somewhere. What do I know…. I’m not a politician. I’m just a little girl who thought democracy and freedom meant the right to be. I stand corrected.