“If you play with fire, you are gonna get burnt.” ~ my mother
My mother dished out a lot of advice in her lifetime but I distinctly remember her telling me this the most: “If you play with fire you are gonna get burnt.”
It’s sound advice and its so very true. I grew up around hospitals and I have seen my fair share of the victims of traumatic burns. This alone should mean I should know that I should step away from the burning flame. Alas, for some of us age and wisdom don’t always come together. Sometimes age shows up all by itself.
All this stems from the fact that I recently reconnected with an old friend on one of these social chat thingies. An old old friend. It is perhaps because I see him as such an old friend that my guard was down. Usually I have my eyes wide open for trouble but this time well…..
It started innocently enough. He asked if it was alright to chat. I thought it was very silly of him to ask given he is my ex-boyfriend’s brother and the fact that he knows I’m currently in a long term relationship. So we started chatting. He threw in a naughty curve ball or two and before I knew it the silly little flirt in me was up and away. Catching her and keeping her in check can be quite difficult. Next thing I knew the conversations had become pretty intense. I should really be writing in the present because this is where I am now. At this point I’m beginning to feel the heat of the flames licking at my feet.
I know there is trouble ahead. I know I should turn back now. After all, I love my boyfriend with all my heart. But there is something about the flames, dancing in wild abandon, about the colour, the life, the danger, the thrill. I’m standing looking at the flame and instead of fear I feel fascination. I feel it pulling me in. Resisting rational argument. I need to pull myself from the brink. My heart and mind know this but my body tingles with betrayal. It likes the flames. it likes the heat. it likes the danger. Doesn’t it know, if you wander too close to the fire, it will devour you.