The early bird gets the worm. The early worm . . . gets eaten ~ Norman R. Augustine
In this world, there are morning people and there are people who hate mornings. If I have learnt anything in the past twenty something years of my life….. its that I, most definitely, am not a morning person. I would go so far as to say I hate mornings…. and they hate me.
For this reason I suspect morning people are aliens sent to torture me for my sins. What adds insult to injury is morning people look amazing in the morning. You know how in movies people wake up looking amazingly beautiful like sleep rejuvenated their youth and beauty? That has never ever happened to me. I wake looking like a tornado survivor e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y! Every morning is damage control morning in addition to the torture of waking up.
There’s a pretty, chirpy brunette at my office whose idea of sleeping in is waking up at 7am. You can’t tell me she’s not an alien! Worse than that, she loves to chat…..non stop…. first thing in the morning. She always starts with, “Morning darling….you look like you are still fast asleep.” That might be because I usually am. Sometimes I look at her and I see her lips moving but I don’t hear anything because I’m concentrating so hard on wishing her back to her home planet…
Everyday, when the alarm goes off, I have to fight the temptation to burrow deeper into the blankets. Every morning I have to remind myself that as soon as I actually stick a toe out from under the covers, the hardest part will be done…. and every morning I snooze my alarm right after the pep-talk… again and again #sigh
I went to a convent school and the nuns ran that place like a prison. Every morning at 5am, Sr Helen would make her way down the passages ringing the morning bell and opening every door to make sure we were actually out of bed. In my more malicious moments I wished her many many children so that she would be sleep deprived for eternity and she would finally understand why sleep was vital. Given she was a 70 year old nun, my wishes may have come a little late to be of any effect but they made me feel better.
In my culture, a woman who can not wake up early is a lazy woman and is therefore not marriage material. In my defence, times have changed. (I can just see the older generations rolling their eyes) No one really has to wake up and go to the well, fetch firewood and heat water et cetera anymore….we have taps, kettles and geysers for that. In addition, the conservative (and spoilt) man, has been replaced for the most part by the modern (sometimes metro-sexual) man…..at least I sincerely hope so otherwise I’m importing a husband.
In any event, this entire argument comes second to my main defence, I can’t risk being the early worm.