I’ve always had a tomboy quality to me that I embrace and don’t run away from. At the same time I’m a real girlie-girl. ~ Julianna Margulies

I have already acknowledged that I am a mass of contradictions. I have no explanation for it. It just is. The only problem is sometimes I confuse myself too.

I love being single but I also love being in relationship. When it comes down to it, I’m very much a relationship sort of girl. Being single is awesome in a lot of ways and I have learnt a lot about myself in the past few months. One of those things is that I prefer being in a relationship to being single. More importantly I have learnt what I want from a relationship and that I am willing to wait for that rather than just being in a relationship just for the sake of it.

May I just point out that post is not going the way I anticipated nor is it about the subject on which I originally intended to write.

A lot of women, married, about to be married, single, have told me that relationships are not a fairytale and you need to make what you have work. I’m inclined to disagree. The thought of settling in that sense leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Here I wish to draw a clear distinction between settling and compromise. I can live without settling…..no one can live without compromise.
One friend, currently engaged to be married, told me the exact opposite. She told me to find what I want and fight for that. I have overly simplified her advice here but the gist of it was when you find there is an attraction/chemistry between you and someone else, pursue it and figure out if its what you want. Lay down your rules at the beginning. The founding principles on which you will not and can not compromise. Figure out before you become too emotionally invested if that is a relationship worth investing in and then grow together. If not, walk away. Don’t wait until you are too emotionally invested to see clearly. I agree with her wholeheartedly.
I am not saying I am looking for magic but if I am to be with someone, they must be distinguished from every other Tom, Dick and Harry somehow. That distinction takes the form of what I feel and what I am willing to do for them and what they feel and are willing to do for me. Yes I know that some people believe a relationship isn’t a quid pro quo arrangement but I do. How can I logically be expected to respect someone who doesn’t respect me? To love unconditionally when I do not get the same? For me its simple, I will move a mountain for someone simply because I know they would do it for me too.
I don’t mean that we must go half and half on the bill or split household chores down the middle. All I am saying is someone who can make you feel safe and loved in their own way deserves the best that I can offer. And why bother being with someone who does not inspire me to be the best version of myself for them. So while being single is exhausting….. I’m willing to wait for a good thing.
PS – What I really wanted to say was Chelsea kicked Arsenal’s butt on Saturday!!!!! I love my boys in blue. They made me so proud. And to all the @#$%! talking Arsenal fans who are my friends…… let me help you wipe the blue paint off your bum…..coz I’m awesome like that!!! Viva Chelsea….