“If you have embarrassed yourself and are going to laugh about it someday, you might as well start today.”
My ability to embarrass myself in new and innovative ways on a regular basis never ceases to amaze me. Remember this. I can’t help wondering if it’s just me or it happens to everyone.
As you know, my car has had issues so it’s been at the service centre for a week and a bit. I eventually went there yesterday and went “diary of a mad black woman” on them and they fixed it and gave it back. But that’s another story. While they had it, I had such transport woes. There is no public transport between where I live and the office and my colleagues were kind enough to pick me up for work and drop me off afterwards. All of my colleagues are male.
So on one of these days, Monday to be exact, I wore a figure hugging pencil skirt and sheer blouse. I looked pretty good I think. Very much like how I imagine a grown up working woman should look. It was that day when you get loads of compliments and you have an extra spring in your step. I have always said the universe does not hesitate to knock you down a notch when it thinks your head is growing a little too big. Clearly, my number was up.
After work one of the boys drove me home. His car seats are really low and I’m not short so getting out of his car takes some manoeuvring. Pity no one ever warns you of the dangers of wriggling about when you are wearing a tight skirt. You know that seam that runs right down your bum…… yes. that one. It ripped right open. Just like that. Wa! There’s nothing like feeling a sudden breeze somewhere where you really shouldn’t.
Now that on its own was bad….but there’s more. On that day of all days, I decided, in my infinite wisdom, that since no one would see my underwear….. I would wear my favourite granny panties. The ones with little hearts, bunnies and flowers on them. Very much unlike how I imagine a grown up working woman’s underwear should look. One word…. *mortifying*
I confess my first reaction was to laugh. Really….what else could I do? I quickly gathered the ripped seams of my dignity and my skirt, said my thank yous and waltzed into my house….
“How to Comfort Yourself When You Have Acted Like a Jackass
Everyone does this occasionally, and you shouldn’t feel too upset about it unless it happens quite often, such as three times a day, in which case you must simply get used to it. Remember, other people like you as well or better for it, because it makes them feel so superior; so you’ve spread a little sunshine. And at the very least, you’ve served as a bad example.”
― Peg Bracken, I Hate to Housekeep Book