While cleaning up my documents on my laptop, I came across this. I wrote it a while ago when I was in a difficult emotional place.
These feelings! They rage inside me.
At war! Confusing me.
Fighting each other.
These feelings! They torture me. They make me suffer.
They dominate my thoughts. They conquer my body.
They bring me to my knees. I cannot wield my sword.
They weigh my arms down.
I cannot stand, my knees are weak.
I cannot fight. My will power is gone.
I have no strength.
I have no brave heart.
I have no fight.
These feelings. How do I stop them?!
How do I shut them out? How do I kill them?
I battle, I fight, I run, I hide, I fail…
These feelings. They are winning.
I feel it.
I feel the crack in the wall of my heart.
I feel the end is nigh.
I lay down to die but death would not come.
I call upon sleep but sleep flees from me like day from the night.
I feel every crack, creak, break.
These feelings. They break my heart.
Piece by piece.
They are victorious.
I am defeated.
I am on my knees, I am finished.
My heart is broken.