Even though I have very little respect for Chicken Wing guy, I will respect his privacy by using Chicken as his first name and Wing as his surname.
We pick up our story 1 year after Disaster Date 1. I was happily dating and had forgotten about chicken wing guy for the most part. In fact, I was on my way to church with the boyfriend when the following whatsapp chat happened:
Unknown number: Hi Chuwe. How have you been?
me: Hi. I lost all my contacts recently and I don’t recognise your number. May I know who this is?
Unknown number: Of course you would say that. Everyone lies that they lost their contacts. You probably deleted my number.
me: Well, if you tell me who you are, I will confirm whether I lost your contact number or deleted it.
Unknown number: Its Chicken.
(I could not for the life of me remember the name.)
me: Chicken, I hope I don’t offend you but I’m afraid I don’t remember this name. Can you refresh my memory in some way?
Unknown number: How can you not remember me. It’s me. Chicken Wing.
(I chose not to reply this message. I still didn’t recognise the name.)
After a few minutes…
Unknown number: A mutual friend set us up on a blind date.
(The pin finally dropped and I immediately burst into hysterical laughter)
me: I remember you now Chicken. You were right. I did delete your number.
Unknown number: So how are you?
me: How can I help you Chicken.
Unknown number: You are still very direct I see.
Unknown number: I just wanted to let you know I’m single now.
me: I beg your pardon?
Unknown number: I’m single now so I am available for us to get together 🙂
(he actually added the smiley face)
me: Are you serious?
Unknown number: Why not? I think you are very pretty.
me: So does the guy I’m dating.
Unknown number: I understand there will be competition but I’m not worried.
me: I mean I am not available to date. I am in a relationship so please don’t contact me again.
Unknown number: Competition is good. Is he a good man anyway?
me: Trust me. You are no competition. He is amazing. Goodbye Chicken.
Unknown number: Tell me about him.
me: (blocks number and moves on with life pitying the girl who dated him)